Nunc Scio
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
  The Loch Ness Monster Elephant?
An new theory about the world's most famous monster has sparked a little controversey on the shores of Loch Ness.

Apparently, eyewitness sightings of the beast bear a striking resemblence to a swimming Indian Elephant. At least that's what Neil Clark, curator of paleontology at the Hunterian Museum in Glasgow, claims. And how did an elephant travel thousands of miles to the chilly waters of the northern Highlands? Through the machinations of a tricky circus owner named Bertram Mills, who funnily enough also offered a 20,000 pound award for Nessie's capture. That's about $1.8 million in today's currency, so maybe Mills knew something the other monster-hunters didn't and felt he could safely offer such a...uh...monstrous reward.

I did a mini-documentary for CBC radio on the Loch Ness monster and met a lot of the people interviewd in the WP story. A certain kind of person is attracted to Loch Ness. No, not crazy people. Dreamers and storytellers mostly. I especially liked that they talked to Adrian Shine- when it comes to monster hunters, this guy is the genuine article. As he said to me in an interview:

I'm not here to find a monster. I'm here to explain what people have seen."

And, as he says in the WP article:

"I am not a believer. I am an investigator. . . . I am still investigating."

Gold. Nice to see that there's still someplace left in the world where anything is possible.
Thanks for my tuition fee increase, jerk.
I am concerned you are being misled about The Loch Ness Monster. I read an interesting article about that recently here...

Also, while we are in the busines of thanking you for things that we are sarcastically trying not to thank you for, I will say this:

Thanks for single-handedly being responsible for not letting the conservative government get a majority, jerk.
Hmmm...Anonymous, you seem a little confused. Allow me to clarify a few things for you:

1) This is a post about the Loch Ness Monster.
2) I had nothing to do with your tuition fee increase as I am not The Premier, The Minister of Training, Colleges and Universities, A MTCU bureaucrat, or a University Administrator. I am a student at the London School of Economics.
3) When I did work in student advocacy (7 months ago), the policy I helped develop called for an effective freeze of tuition, whereby fees would only go up by CPI. That's quite a bit different from what the MTCU announced today. Although I suspect you're not one to sweat the details.
4) The above policy was passed by student leaders who represent 125,000 other students.
5) While in student advocacy, I also helped to get $6.2 billion invested in higher ed, including grants for low-income students. If you want to thank me for that, please feel free.

Anyhow, just wanted to help you sort a few things out. Drop by anytime!
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Jack of all trades, master of none, Graeme is many things to many people. Unfortunately, none of them find him very life-affirming in any capacity. He is a freelance writer, broadcaster, amateur cryptozoologist and occasional political commentator late of London, England and now based in Toronto. Most of the time, he's confused. And a little hungry. But mostly just confused and somewhat uncomfortable writing in the third person.

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"All persons, living or dead, are purely coincidental and should not be construed." Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. <



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