Nunc Scio
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
  Sweet, Sweet Satire Courtesy of the Spaghetti Monster
This is amazing.

A brilliant amateur satirist has sent up the whole "Intelligent Design" (read: christian fundamentalist pseudo-science) movement in American public schools. His device? The all-powerful spaghetti monster. His point? If you can teach intelligent design alongside evolution to allow students to decide which theory makes sense, then you should also teach that the world was created by a giant spaghetti monster. Since both 'alternatives' to evolution are based on a total lack of evidence, they should be equally valid.

Sweet glorious music.

We need more people out there calling the ID folks on their make-believe garbage. Here's my read (and I apologize for lacking the subtlety of the spaghetti monster guy): If you believe in intelligent design, you believe in magic. And, you lack the capacity for rational thought. Just saying.

Of course, the Intelligent Design folks try to dress it up. But like the old saying goes, you can put pearls on a pig, but it's still a pig. This is just a thinly-veiled fundamentalist attempt to squeeze their medieaval world-view into a school system which wisely kicked religion out of the classroom long ago. We need answers, not fairey tales.
As the Gaels wisely said, a very long time ago, "An it brings harm to none, do as ye will." This applies to many things, including attending church. It's passive, harmless, a fine way to embrace a community, bringing harm to none. However, once you start dragging your superstition into schools, forcing them upon harmless children, you violate the Gaelic wisdom. So, if you're going to open the door to idiocy, you may as well teach anything you want. Teach children the world was created a century ago. Teach that the world rests upon the shell of a great tortoise, swimming through a vast ocean. Hell, teach anything you want, so long as reason and sanity have no bearing on the subject. Joshua ben-Joseph was born to a virgin, life was created by a father, no mother, so why not teach the noodly wisdom of the spaghetti monster, alongside everyone else's nonsense? Need a missionary? My schedule's pretty clear. Let's go prostelityze (sp?) on streetcorners, like the Bible-thumping halfwits who cruise the land, doing their missionary duty. Any takers?

Proudly inscribed herein by Steve Martindale, found in Tucson if you missionaries want to come save my soul.
I know MY schedule is clear but I'm in Dallas where I used to teach ... at what streetcorner would we meet?
Kaye K.
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Jack of all trades, master of none, Graeme is many things to many people. Unfortunately, none of them find him very life-affirming in any capacity. He is a freelance writer, broadcaster, amateur cryptozoologist and occasional political commentator late of London, England and now based in Toronto. Most of the time, he's confused. And a little hungry. But mostly just confused and somewhat uncomfortable writing in the third person.

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